A few evenings ago, after my daughter committed to Texas A&M University, we gathered the mountain of college mail that had accumulated over the past year and spread it across our living room floor.
There were glossy brochures from every corner of America. Thick embossed envelopes. Personalized letters. Smiling students walking beneath trees that seemed permanently trapped in perfect October sunlight. Laboratories where breakthroughs were apparently occurring at hourly intervals. Residence halls that looked suspiciously like boutique hotels. And enough promises of leadership, innovation, purpose, and transformation to suggest that every university in America has independently discovered the secret to human flourishing.
At the center of it all sat her maroon hoodie. The decision had been made.
For months our mailbox had delivered this steady flood of courtship. Universities had pursued my daughter with a determination usually reserved for political campaigns and luxury car dealerships. Every envelope suggested that somewhere just beyond our front door lay the exact future she had always dreamed of, though admittedly several dozen institutions seemed to be offering precisely the same dream.
Standing there, looking at that sea of glossy persuasion surrounding the sweatshirt she had chosen, I felt what every parent probably feels at this moment.
Pride, first. Relief, certainly. And then a question lingered.
When did education start looking so much like retail?
When I was younger, I thought of universities as solemn places. Libraries. Debate. Discovery. Serious minds asking difficult questions. I imagined professors who forgot what day it was because they were too busy thinking about the nature of truth. I did not imagine direct mail campaigns sophisticated enough to make luxury resorts seem understated.
And yet this is where we are.
For twelve years, we treat education as a public good. Society funds it because we understand that learning benefits everyone. We do not ask whether elementary school offers sufficient return on investment before allowing children to learn arithmetic.
Then, at eighteen, something curious happens. Education transforms into a consumer product. At that point, families are expected to make one of the largest financial decisions of their lives with less clarity than most would demand when buying a refrigerator.
And the numbers are astonishing.
Tuition rises faster than inflation with a consistency that deserves academic study of its own. Add housing, meal plans, books, transportation, technology charges, activity fees, orientation fees, insurance, and a collection of mandatory expenses whose purpose is usually explained in prose so dense that even lawyers might ask for clarification, and the total becomes staggering.
The dormitory experience is especially impressive. Universities have somehow persuaded families that paying premium apartment rates for a room approximately the size of an optimistic storage closet is both reasonable and character building. Meal plans are their own small marvel. Students somehow pay restaurant prices for food they will still complain about every weekend.
And still we pay.
We pay because this is our children’s future.
That simple fact explains almost everything.
We sit at kitchen tables with calculators and spreadsheets, pretending this is an exercise in financial analysis when in truth we are trying to assign a dollar value to possibility itself. How much is opportunity worth? What price should we place on growth, independence, friendships, intellectual challenge, and the chance to become who they are meant to become? No parent can answer those questions easily.
The pressure on our children is even greater.
At seventeen, they are expected to present resumes suggesting the discipline of accomplished professionals while still being reminded to enjoy their youth. They are encouraged to dream boldly while also calculating practical return on investment like financial analysts. They are told to discover themselves while making decisions that may shape decades of their lives.
And hanging over all of it is selectivity.
Admission itself has become a kind of national theater. The emotional burden this places on young people is enormous. Acceptance rates at many institutions have dropped so low that rejection becomes statistically likely even for extraordinary students. Teenagers who have spent years collecting achievements with the discipline of Olympic athletes are informed, often by algorithmically timed email, that they were simply not exceptional enough this time. Scarcity has become part of the product itself. Universities quietly understand that the harder it is to get in, the more desirable they appear.
We have somehow normalized this.
Parents feel it too. Every acceptance letter brings excitement, followed almost immediately by arithmetic. Can we afford this? Should we? What sort of life begins with this kind of debt? For students who go on to pursue medicine, law, or advanced graduate study, the numbers become so large they seem less like loans and more like geopolitical obligations.
And then there is the peculiar American phenomenon of college sports.
To much of the world, this requires explanation.
In many countries, universities are places where students sometimes play sports. In America, there are moments when one suspects the arrangement has been reversed.
This is only a slight exaggeration.
Across the country, public universities maintain athletic complexes so elaborate they could easily be mistaken for professional franchises with a modest academic side business. Stadiums seat tens of thousands. Training facilities gleam. Coaching contracts climb into the millions.
In several states, the highest paid public employee is not a governor, scientist, or surgeon. It is the football coach at the state university. Apparently shaping young minds matter, but converting third and long is more lucrative.
To be fair, athletics build community. They create identity, loyalty, excitement, and opportunity for many students. But it is difficult for parents writing tuition checks not to occasionally wonder whether they are funding a university with a football team or a football enterprise with some classrooms attached.
That question becomes sharper when one considers the enormous resources already flowing into higher education through alumni donations, research grants, public support, philanthropic gifts, tax advantages, and institutional endowments. American universities are not passing around a hat to keep the lights on. Many command resources that would have impressed small kingdoms. And yet families still feel squeezed. This is the contradiction at the heart of the system.
And still, for all of this, I cannot simply criticize and walk away. That would be too easy, and it would also not be true.
American universities remain among the finest institutions in the world. They produce extraordinary scholarship, innovation, research, and opportunity on a remarkable scale. They change lives. They broaden horizons. They introduce young people to ideas and friendships that shape who they become forever.
I believe in that promise. That is precisely why my daughter’s decision fills me with hope. The maroon hoodie in our living room is proof that she has not surrendered to some vast marketing machine. It is simply a reminder of her hard work and of the life she is about to begin.
Like every parent sending a child to college, I feel pride and excitement for what comes next. But I also feel a quiet unease that we have allowed one of society’s most important institutions to become so entangled with branding, prestige, spectacle, and financial strain. Education should stretch young minds. It should not stretch family finances to the breaking point. It should expand possibility, not mortgage it.
The brochures are gone now. The choice is made. The next chapter begins. Like every parent at this moment, I am hopeful. I am proud. Somewhere along the way, possibility acquired a price tag.
I am still wondering when we decided that was normal.











